Avoiding a Difficult Conversation with a Friend or Colleague?
Crucial conversations are not limited to your boss, colleagues and the boardroom. Many times, the most difficult conversations we have are ones with those we care deeply about, including our dear friends.Ā
Avoiding these uncomfortable conversations is completely normal. I think itās safe to say that weāve all done it (me included)āfelt that knot in the stomach, the racing thoughts, the temptation to tell ourselves, āItās not a big dealā¦ it will blow over or I just donāt want to deal with it.ā
While avoidance may feel easier in the moment, itās not productive. In fact, when the issue is with someone we care deeply about, silence often creates more tension, assumptions, hurt, and distance.
Ironically, difficult conversations with dear friends can be even harder than those with colleagues. Friends hold our history, our trust, and our hearts. The stakes feel higher. We donāt want to risk damaging the relationship or looking overly sensitive. But because we value the friendship, having the con...
IWD 2026 Give to Gain Series: Promotion Velocity and Retention Protection via Emotional Resilience and Strategic Partnerships
In honor of International Womenās Day 2026, Iām sharing a series of research backed and proven processes that truly moves the needle for women in leadership and the organizations that rely on them.
In the coming weeks, weāll focus on promotion velocity, retention protection, deepening the leadership bench, and avoiding lost productivity and lost revenue during disruptive times.
Given these proven tools, repeatable processes, and pressure proofed frameworks, companies can gain measurable progress, especially when the stakes are high. Todayās focus is on two underestimated levers with outsized impact:Ā
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emotional resilienceĀ
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strategic sponsorship
As a two-time best selling author, speaker, and certified high performance executive coach, I help women leaders and rising leaders build Olympic level confidence and FBI grade strategic influence that will help them successfully deepen and manage key relationships (internally and externally) as well remain highly performing duri...
The 4 Step Sequence of a āBig Askā ... How to Gain Buy-In Without Pushing
One of the questions Iām asked frequently, whether Iām leading a mastermind cohort, working one on one with clients, or speaking from a stage, is this:
āWhat is the successful sequence of making a ābig askā and receiving buy-in?ā
And this applies internally ... asking for new scope, a title, compensation, or resources.
It also applies externally ... asking a client to commit, expand, renew, or say yes to a bigger engagement.
Most people think the ask is the moment that matters most.
Itās not.
The āaskā is the fourth step.
If you want buy-in, you need the right sequence ... because the sequence is what makes the ask feel like a solution, not a request for the other to give something up.
So, the next time you commit to making a big ask, consider the following:
Step 1: Build a Trust and Safety Runway
Before you ask for anything, itās important to build a trust and safety runway.
Not trust that you can get something done or competence trust.
Explicit communication that demonstr...
New Level, New Devil ... How to Stay Grounded When the Stakes Are High
A business mentor of mine used to always say, āNew level, new devil.ā
And itās true.
Whether you are a rising leader or a seasoned executive, there is always going to be a bigger room, a higher stakes conversation, or a moment that rocks your confidence ... even if you consider yourself to have unshakable confidence.
And if youāre thinking, āIām not really that confident ... Iām working on it,ā this is for you too.
Because high stakes moments do not just test what you know. They test how you manage your internal state while youāre communicating which in turn impacts (greatly) how youāre perceived.
Here are a couple strategies that will help you not choke when the conversation really matters.
Strategy 1: Stop Fighting Your Emotions ... They Will Always Win
The fastest way to spiral in a high stakes moment is to try to minimize your emotions.
If you try to shove them away, ignore them, or talk yourself out of them, they usually get louder and therefore more distracting.Ā
Instead...
Three Nonverbal Cues That Can Quietly Undermine Your Influence ... (and What to Do Instead)
If you consider the research, only about 7% of what we say is interpreted through our actual words.
Everything else is interpreted through our tone, our gestures, our body language, how we move, how we hold ourselves ... and even the cadence and tone of our voice.
So before I share three nonverbal cues that can quietly take away from your ability to influence, I want to start with something I know youāve heard me say before:
Whatever youāre thinking comes out of your mouth.
In other words ... your mindset is the precursor to being able to influence successfully. Every time, it will impact how others will feel about what you have to say.
Get Your Head in the Game First
Itās very difficult for other people to be confident in us, trust us, and buy into what weāre saying when we are not confident in ourselves.
Let me give you a real example.
One of my clients, "Sue" (not her real name) is a rising female executive who is essentially creating a VP position for herself. She has been ...
Be Included in the Rooms That Matter
Have you ever wanted (and deserved) to be in a room that would immediately add value, expand your visibility and impact ...but you wereĀ NOT included?
Maybe you know youāve earned your way into that room, and it feels like you were purposefully excluded or maybe it was an oversight.
Either way, it can be incredibly frustrating and detrimental to the business.
Hereās the good news. There is a proven process to help you get into the important rooms and ensure your voice is heard, valued, and recognized.
Start here:
Step 1: Get Crystal Clear on Why You Want/Should be to Be in the Room
This is where most people start ... but they stop too soon.Yes, you want visibility. Yes, you want impact. Yes, you want to grow. But you have to get specific. What is the real reason you want to be in that room?
Is it because your work directly affects what is being decided?
Is it because you have expertise that will prevent blind spots?
Is it because you are responsible for outcomes but not present for the conversa...
Feeling Dismissed by Peers or Leadership? (How to Be Heard)
Have you ever walked into a meeting prepared, thoughtful, ready to contribute ... and then left feeling dismissed?
It is incredibly frustrating.
And, I want you to hear this clearly:
Your voice matters. It matters more now than ever.
And you deserve to be heard, valued, and respected in the rooms you are in.
The good news is this does not have to keep happening. There is a proven process to reduce those moments and increase your influence without needing to become louder, sharper, or someone you are not.
Here are two strategies you can start using immediately.
1)Ā Get Clear on Your Message ... and the Meaning Behind It
Before we talk tactics, let's talk about mindset. Not in a vague motivational way ... in a practical, performance based way.
I want to share a simple parable that makes this point.
There are three people laying bricks.
Someone walks up to the first and asks, āWhat are you doing?ā
She says, āIām laying bricks.ā
They ask the second person the same question.
She says...
With Deep Gratitude (and a Few Celebrations to Share)
My young memories of the holidays were a little tricky and not always as joyous as I imagined they were for everyone else.Ā
If thatās you during this holiday season, Iām sending big hugs and deep gratitude for being a part of the Fearless Female Leadership family.Ā
If youāre relaxing and enjoying family and friends, Iām also sending the same to you, and I truly believe that time is the absolute best gift of all!
Without you, there would be no Fearless Female Leadership community. As we approach 10 years of this work (speaking from stages, coaching incredible female executives and their teams, and now leading peer advisory masterminds) Iām in awe of the compounded impact that you all have had!
Thank you for showing up.
Thank you for speaking up.
Thank you for leading with courage, heart, and impactā¦ often in rooms that ask more of you than they should.
I also want to share a few milestones Iām celebrating with The Zone Lab. Weāve formed new partnerships with Women in Securitizati...
Struggling With a Peer Causing You to Lose Influence with Leadership?
Have you ever felt like a peer was quietly (or not so quietly) blocking your influence with leadership?
If so, youāre definitely not alone. And when it happens, itās not just frustratingā¦ itās costly. Costly to your confidence, your credibility, your career momentum, and the business itself.
What makes it even harder is that this behavior is often driven by fear-based leadership or narcissistic tendencies. When someone feels threatened, they may try to limit your visibility, exclude you from conversations, or position themselves as the gatekeeper to leadership.
It is not a reflection of your capability or value.
Why This Matters So Much
When a peer blocks your access to leadership:
- Your ideas donāt get heard
- Your impact gets diluted
- Key relationships donāt form
- The organization loses out on your expertise
The good news is thereās a proven process to address it.
Imagine for a moment if that same peer became someone who supported your ideas, amplified your voice, and saw your presence...
Struggling to Influence Difficult Colleagues (or Family Members)?
I donāt know if youāve noticed this too, but during the holidays (or anytime stress runs unusually high) some people can become more difficult than usual. Emotions get bigger. Patience gets thinner. Small frustrations can escalate quickly.
And whether the tension comes from a colleague, a leader, or even a family member you love dearlyā¦ it can feel incredibly draining.
If youāre feeling like youāre losing energy or losing ground influencing those who are important for your year to end strong, here's a few simple, proven ways to prevent these moments from spiraling... and, in many cases, to de-escalate them before they even begin.
Step 1: Acknowledge and Validate (Without Agreeing)
When someone is frustrated or reactive, the fastest way to lower defensiveness is to name what you see and express understanding.
This does not mean you agree with their perspective.
You might say:
- āIt seems like you're upset about missing our numbers. I understand why that would feel stressful.ā
- āIt sounds lik...
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