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Two Smart Strategies to Have More Influence in Your Next Crucial Conversation

crucial conversation Jun 17, 2025

If you already have a seat at the table, but you want to have a bigger voice at the table with your peers, your leadership and possibly even your CEO or board members, then there's two simple things that are often left out.

The first one is getting very clear on your desired outcome, why it's meaningful to you, also why it's meaningful to the other person and organization or the company. So be crystal clear on that, on the desired outcome, especially rather than worried about how it might turn out, put instead focus your thoughts on how you would like it to turn out. That'll make it more likely that you're going to guide the conversation in that way. It'll help with your confidence.

The second thing is, be very, very clear on what is important to the other side, the desired outcome of the other side, why it matters to them. Be sure to connect with them on that, acknowledge and validate that first, it's always very important to connect with the other person first, because they will, t...

4 Steps to Preparing for Your Next Crucial Conversation

crucial conversation May 19, 2021

4 Steps to Preparing for Your Next Crucial Conversation

Are you hoping to nail an upcoming crucial conversation but a little worried about how it might turn out?

Whether you’ve completely missed the mark on a past conversation, or you didn’t exactly receive the results you were hoping for, here are four steps that can serve as a guideline to achieve meaningful results on your next conversation that matters.

Step #1
5 deep belly breaths or “box breathing” to help build your physical and mental presence. Breath in for 5 seconds, hold for 5, exhale for 5, hold for 5. Not only for your internal focus but also to prepare how others perceive you.

Step #2
Awareness. Notice whichever emotions are triggered by an upcoming conversation (ie: fear, anger, frustration…).

Step #3
Distance yourself. Create a distance from your negative emotions, thoughts or feelings by shifting from “I am” to “I notice.” For example, "I am worried about xyz" is "I notice that xzy worries me." This creates distance betw...

Nail Your Next Crucial Conversation: Do This First!

affirmation crucial conversation interrogative question Apr 28, 2021

Nail Your Next Crucial Conversation: Do This First!

Have you ever had an important conversation or interaction, and left the room (or Zoom:) feeling like you didn’t have the impact you’d hoped for? Maybe you flat out bombed the opportunity (I think most of us have experienced that at some point!) If so, you’re definitely not alone, but let’s make sure it never happens again! Your voice matters, and you deserve and need to be heard.

The entire process is outlined in my Limitless Leader course, but here’s a great place to start, with preparing your mindset. Permission to be transparent? If you don’t believe in what you have to say or you are unclear of the outcome you desire, then it will be difficult at best to influence others.

While the 7/38/55 rule of communication states that only 7% of our communication is perceived by our words, 38% by our tone, and 58% by our gestures (1967, Albert Mehrabian and his colleagues at UCLA), is debatable, one thing is for certain. Your tone and gestur...