Build Influence Without Being Seen as a Threat (Part 2 of 3): Curiosity That Creates Trust
In Part 1 of the "Build Influence Without Being Seen as a Threat" series, we focused on Strategic Empathy… leading with what matters most to your stakeholder. Now we’ll build on that foundation with Curiosity that Creates Trust: asking brave, compassionate questions that surface pressures, fears, and desires so your ideas land without triggering a threat response.Â
Why Curiosity (and Why It’s a Little Uncomfortable).
Research and real-world practice point to a hard truth: people are most motivated to act by loss pain… what they’re afraid of losing (visibility, budget, credibility, timeline, even their job). Until we understand that loss pain, and the pressures driving it (our recommendations can miss the mark and even worse, feel like a threat.) Curiosity requires courage because it asks us to name what may be unsaid and then truly listen.Â
Validate Without Agreeing.
Start by acknowledging their reality, clearly and respectfully. Validation isn’t capitulation… it’s connection. For ...
Build Influence Without Being Seen as a Threat (Part 1 of 3): Strategic Empathy
If you’ve ever shared a strong idea and felt the room tense or held back because you "didn’t want to step on your boss’s toes," you’re not alone. Your voice matters A LOT, so let’s make sure it’s heard, valued, and respected. This series is doing just that while ensuring you are not held back or blocked by being perceived as a threat: Strategic Empathy.
Why “strategic empathy”?
Strategic Empathy isn’t just kindness, it’s preparation. It shows you understand and care what matters to the person (their priorities, pressures, and wins). When people feel seen and understood, they feel safe and therefore more open to your ideas, input, and requests. Strategic empathy is the runway to have your influence take off.
Plan as if you’re in their seat.
Before a key conversation, step into their role and ask:
- What’s mission-critical for them this quarter?
- What’s at risk (budget, headcount, credibility, timeline)?
- What would make this quarter a 10+?
Shape your message to help them win. L...
Super Human Growth - an Interview with Shanna Goodell, Senior Director of Enterprise Learning & Talent Development at Druva
In the latest Fearless Female Leadership interview, I had the pleasure of speaking with Shanna Goodell, Senior Director of Enterprise Learning and Talent Development at Druva, about her inspiring career journey and her vision for “superhuman growth.”
Shanna’s path was shaped by mentors who believed in her potential and opened doors that might otherwise have stayed closed. From her best friend’s parents encouraging her to pursue college, to mentors who introduced her to organizational psychology, to leaders who gave her early opportunities, Shanna embodies the ripple effect of empowerment.
Her career reflects resilience and innovation—especially when she pioneered flexible work arrangements to balance motherhood with professional growth. At Druva, she now champions learning strategies that integrate cutting-edge AI with the human connection that truly drives growth. Shanna believes that curiosity, trust, and vision are the key ingredients for creating “superhuman teams” that achieve beyon...
Journey From Influence of Power to the Power of Influence - an Interview with Ekta Vyas, Ph.D, Chief Human Resources Officer from Keck Medicine of USC
In the latest Fearless Female Leadership interview, I had the distinct honor of speaking with Ekta Vyas, Ph.D, Chief Human Resources Officer of Keck Medicine at USC, about her remarkable journey from navigating cultural transitions to becoming an influential leader in healthcare. We explored her philosophy on moving from the influence of power to the power of influence, and how clarity, resilience, and humility fuel true leadership.
Dr. Vyas shared her upbringing in India, her bold move to the U.S., and the challenges of rebuilding her career in a new country. An introvert at heart, she leaned on deep reflection, silent courage, and an unwavering commitment to doing what’s right. She emphasized that leadership is not about positional authority but about the enduring impact you leave through your influence, character, and values.
She also revealed how spirituality, self-awareness, and resilience anchor her power, especially during adversity. Her message for leaders everywhere: seek no...
Cultivating an Influential Mindset Through Healthy Habits and Boundaries
You can be successful, and still feel like there is more. More for you to give and contribute, more impact to be made, and more joy to feel from your work.
Is it possible that it may be time to pivot?
There are many ways to successfully pivot, whether internally within your company or your current career, or an external pivot toward something entirely different. This is not typically easy and can require a great deal of personal influence.
Here’s how to get started with an influential mindset reset, coupled with setting healthy habits and boundaries:
1. Believe in Yourself
Your ideas, your worth, and your contribution are valuable. If you don’t believe you are worthy of influence in a new and often unfamiliar role, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to influence others. The voice that we should pay attention to the most is our own, even when it is a negative voice. So a great place to start is with strong positive daily affirmations. For example, "I take consistent action towards my next level of...
Top 5 Lessons Learned in 2023: A Year of Empowerment for Female Leaders
As we prepare for the new year, it’s a great time for reflection and introspection. The year 2023 has been a remarkable journey, not just in terms of the challenges we faced but, more importantly, in the lessons we learned and the growth we experienced. This year has been a testament to our strength, adaptability, leadership, and resilience, particularly in the face of unprecedented challenges. It was a year that not only tested us but also highlighted our unique capabilities as women in leadership roles.
These insights have shaped our approach, honed our skills, and prepared us to lead with more conviction and impact. Here are the top five lessons that have been particularly resonant, each shaping our path toward a more empowered and influential future.
- Embrace the Power of Dreams and Vision: This year has underscored the importance of dreaming big and aligning those dreams with our values and vision. As female leaders, we’ve seen the power of visualization and ambition in turning ...
Taking the Leap from Leader to Advisor
Heidi Melin, a Strategic Marketing Leader, Board Director, and Go-To-Market Advisor, has navigated the complexities of the business world with unparalleled finesse. Her career has evolved from operational roles to advisory capacities, making her a go-to expert for those contemplating a similar transition.
This interview is a goldmine of practical advice and actionable insights. If you're an executive mulling over your next career move or an up-and-coming leader looking to expand your skill set, Heidi's experience offers a roadmap worth following. Don't miss the opportunity to glean wisdom from a leader who's been there, done that, and continues to redefine success.
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TIMESTAMP:
- 2:54 - Be Open to Unexpected OpportunitiesÂ
- 8:15 - Explore Unconventional Paths
- 12:44 - Deep Connections Open DoorsÂ
- 14:49 - Self-Assessment Guides Career Choices
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KEY TAKEAWAYS
Be Open to Unexpected OpportunitiesÂ
Being receptive to opportunities that come from unexpected places can lead to fulf...
Having Influence when Emotions are Running High
So many times, whether in a professional setting or personal life, having influence or getting through to someone that you're in disagreement with can seem like an uphill battle. I know I've wrestled with it, and from my recent message to my client about these very challenges, it's clear many others do too. But since this is such an important topic, I didn't want to stop there. I wanted to share these insights with you as well.
When emotions are running high, conversations can quickly escalate into conflict, leaving both parties feeling frustrated and misunderstood. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are strategies we can all learn to communicate more effectively, even in the most emotionally charged situations. These strategies are not about manipulation but about understanding, empathy, and collaboration.
Whether you're trying to negotiate at work, talk to a family member about a sensitive topic, or have any crucial conversation that's potentially emotionally charged, these ...
3 Steps to Build the Influence You Want and Deserve
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There is a misconception about influence that it is reserved for the elite few or for those in positions of authority.
We all have ideas, feelings and wisdom that deserve to be heard AND that may have a profound impact on others. I almost look at it as an obligation. Whether you feel like you are influential or not, you can learn to become more influential, and it starts with gaining an influential mindset.
Keep in mind that you believe what you consistently tell yourself, so use your internal voice wisely! You may have to be an actor or actress in the beginning.
I DON'T mean "fake it until you MAKE it."
I DO mean, "fake it until you BECOME it."
The first step to gaining the influence at work OR at home, is to believe that what you desire is possible.
Fortunately, there's a great tool you can use to do just that! It's a positive affirmations app that myself and my 1:1 clients use called ThinkUp. Used consistently (every day for 5 minutes prior to bedtime), ThinkUp is an amazin...
The Cost of Worry and Uncertainty and (what you can do about it)
New leadership is often one of the biggest drivers of worry and uncertainty, both for the employees and the new leader themselves. This is because new leadership typically brings about changes and a shift in organizational culture, which can understandably lead to anxiety and stress for those involved.
While extremely normal, it’s not so great for innovative ability, productivity, or profitability, especially during disruptive or challenging times.
For employees, a new leader may bring uncertainty about their job security or the direction of the organization. They may worry about whether the new leader will have the same values and priorities as the previous leader, or whether they will be able to work effectively with the new leader.
Similarly, for the new leader, taking on a new role can be overwhelming and stressful. They may worry about whether they will be able to live up to the expectations of the organization, the board, and the employees, or whether they will be able to effe...
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