Get Compensated for What You're Worth (Part 3 of the 3-Part Video Series): "The Power of Practicing Your Ask"
Preparation is powerful. But hereâs the trap I see so many fall into: they spend all their time practicing the âwhyâ behind their ask⌠and almost no time practicing the âwhat.â
When negotiating salary, budget, or new opportunities, leaders will confidently talk about their accomplishments and impact. But when the conversation turns to âSo what are your salary expectations?ââtheir voice changes, their tone drops, and their confidence wavers. Yes, making a bold ask, especially a pecuniary one, is uncomfortable, but it does not have to be!
Here are three ways to sound even more confident making a big ask::
- Say the numberâor the resourceâout loud, multiple times.
- Slow your speaking. Â
- Land the plane. End with a steady, descending tone that conveys confidence (An ascending tone conveys asking permission and uncertainty.).
In order for others to be confident that our âaskâ is a good idea, we must be confident in ourselves first. Remember, the research tells us that only 7% of what ...
Get Compensated for What You're Worth (Part 2 of the 3-Part Video Series): "Turning Resistance Into Your Superpower"
Have you ever noticed that right when youâre about to ask for something importantâlike a raise, more resources, or a new opportunityâresistance shows up?
Maybe itâs worry, fear, or imposter syndrome whispering in your ear. Most of us, understandably, see these emotions as negative. . But what if they were actually superpowers in disguise?
Resistance is often our egoâs way of trying to protect us. But instead of fighting it, you can reframe it into wisdom and fuel.
Hereâs how:
â First, notice the emotion: âI notice I feel worried.â
â Next, assume success is inevitable: âIf I already had the outcome I wanted, what would this emotion advise me to do in order to be my best or improve?
One of my clients used this exact approach in a salary negotiation at a fast-growing startup. By reframing her worry, she did deeper preparation, clearly articulated her value, andâmost importantlyâpositioned herself as the solution to the CEOâs biggest problem.
That shift made her ask not just credible, b...
Get Compensated for What You're Worth (Part 1 of the 3-Part Video Series): "Emotional Regulation: The First Step to Negotiation Success"
Many times leaders prepare for negotiations with facts, research, and strategy. Yet they skip the very firstâand most crucialâstep: emotional regulation.
Without it, even the most confident âaskâ can fall flat.
One client of mine recently received a dream job offer. On paper, it looked incredible. But she knew the offer wasnât as strong as it could be. The emotion on her mind was âworryâ. After a five-month search, she was afraid that if she asked for more, she might lose the opportunity altogether.
This is where emotional regulation comes in. Instead of identifying with her fear by saying, âI am worried,â she was able to reframe it as, âI notice I feel worried..â
This small but powerful shift that helps neutralize negative emotions that can get in our way.. It allows us to observe the emotion without becoming emotionally disregulated.
đ Watch the full video (above.)
If youâre facing your next big ask, pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling? Then notice it, name it, and remind ...
Get Compensated for What You're Worth: "Introduction to the 3-Part Video Series"
The research tells us that women get offered less, and rarely try to negotiate compensation packages.
Letâs change that!Â
It could be a new role, a bigger salary, additional resources, or even just the chance to lead the next big project. Yet so many leadersâno matter how advancedâfeel hesitation, worry, or even imposter syndrome when it comes time to make an ask for what they want and deserve..
Thatâs why I created this short 3-part video series: âGet Compensated for What You're Worthâ
Hereâs what youâll learn:
â
Part 1 â Emotional Regulation: The first and most overlooked step.
â
Part 2 â Turning Resistance Into Rocket Fuel.
â
Part 3 â Practicing Your Ask With Confidence.
This process is based on what Iâve taught executives, Olympic athletes, and high performers around the world. Itâs proven, itâs practical, and it works.
đ Watch the full video series starting here.
You are worthy of what youâre asking for. My hope is this series equips you with tools to not only askâbut to ask w...
Prepare Mentally and Tactically to Negotiate Under Pressure
Have you ever found yourself in a meeting, presentation, or other high pressure conversation, emotions are running high, and youâre thrown off your game? Whether youâre negotiating a raise, a new role, or to gain buy-in from your leadership, the ability to negotiate under pressure is a vital skill to have in your tool belt. Letâs explore some key strategies from the Fearless Female Leadership framework that can empower you to handle emotionally charged conversations and high-stakes negotiations and ensure that you are heard, valued, and respected in the moments that matter...
The Three Critical Steps: The Fearless Female Leadership Framework emphasizes clarity, confidence, and influence. These are foundational to any successful negotiation, especially ones that are or have the potential to be emotionally charged.
World-Class Preparation with the ABC Prep Sheet: Just like Olympians, leaders should prepare comprehensively for crucial conversations. The ABC Prep worksheet encourages thi...
Podcast Episode #117: "Delivering Tough Feedback Effectively Across Organizations" - an Interview with Brenda Hudson
Delivering Tough Feedback Effectively Across Organizations
In case you missed my LIVE interview with the phenomenal Brenda Hudson (Senior Vice President Commercial Sales, Sales Enablement, Learning and Development at Insight), here are a few of the wisdom gems she shared: Â
- Tuck away all the behaviors youâve experienced that will not exhibit.
- Have grace, honesty, clarity, and compassion.
- Be sure to share âwhyâ youâre sharing the feedback you are.
- Exhibit gratitude for the recipient of the conversation.
- An inability to build trust will restrict your elevation in your career and in life.
- Listen, be authentic, and align your actions with your words to build that trust.
- Donât be afraid to speak up and go against the grain when itâs a win/win/win for the other person, you, and your company.
To be notified for future interviews be sure to connect with me here on LinkedIn AND to learn more about how to build the mindset and influence for real change, join our community at www.she...
Want More Influence with Your Leadership and/or Board?
Have you ever wondered what itâs like to negotiate when lives are on the line, in deadly hostage stand-offs, with ISIS, or with an armed man with sniper weapons on the National Mall in Washington DC? Sounds terrifying, highly emotional, and exhausting, right?
Grant it that negotiations with your leadership and/or board may not be life or death, but they can be no less exhausting or frustrating when youâre not heard, valued, and respected for your ideas and initiatives.
Iâll be joining FBI and NYPD International Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss again (the first training was in October 2022 in NYC), so I can help you stand in your power even more for yourself, your company, and those leaders coming after you.
As we know all too well when women are not heard or donât have a big enough voice at the table, itâs costly.
Consider that productivity has taken its biggest dip since 1947, and itâs costing U.S. companies north of 600 billion dollars a year, according to a very recent article in F...
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