New Level, New Devil ... How to Stay Grounded When the Stakes Are High
A business mentor of mine used to always say, “New level, new devil.”
And it’s true.
Whether you are a rising leader or a seasoned executive, there is always going to be a bigger room, a higher stakes conversation, or a moment that rocks your confidence ... even if you consider yourself to have unshakable confidence.
And if you’re thinking, “I’m not really that confident ... I’m working on it,” this is for you too.
Because high stakes moments do not just test what you know. They test how you manage your internal state while you’re communicating which in turn impacts (greatly) how you’re perceived.
Here are a couple strategies that will help you not choke when the conversation really matters.
Strategy 1: Stop Fighting Your Emotions ... They Will Always Win
The fastest way to spiral in a high stakes moment is to try to minimize your emotions.
If you try to shove them away, ignore them, or talk yourself out of them, they usually get louder and therefore more distracting.Â
Instead...
Three Nonverbal Cues That Can Quietly Undermine Your Influence ... (and What to Do Instead)
If you consider the research, only about 7% of what we say is interpreted through our actual words.
Everything else is interpreted through our tone, our gestures, our body language, how we move, how we hold ourselves ... and even the cadence and tone of our voice.
So before I share three nonverbal cues that can quietly take away from your ability to influence, I want to start with something I know you’ve heard me say before:
Whatever you’re thinking comes out of your mouth.
In other words ... your mindset is the precursor to being able to influence successfully. Every time, it will impact how others will feel about what you have to say.
Get Your Head in the Game First
It’s very difficult for other people to be confident in us, trust us, and buy into what we’re saying when we are not confident in ourselves.
Let me give you a real example.
One of my clients, "Sue" (not her real name) is a rising female executive who is essentially creating a VP position for herself. She has been ...
Be Included in the Rooms That Matter
Have you ever wanted (and deserved) to be in a room that would immediately add value, expand your visibility and impact ...but you were NOT included?
Maybe you know you’ve earned your way into that room, and it feels like you were purposefully excluded or maybe it was an oversight.
Either way, it can be incredibly frustrating and detrimental to the business.
Here’s the good news. There is a proven process to help you get into the important rooms and ensure your voice is heard, valued, and recognized.
Start here:
Step 1: Get Crystal Clear on Why You Want/Should be to Be in the Room
This is where most people start ... but they stop too soon.Yes, you want visibility. Yes, you want impact. Yes, you want to grow. But you have to get specific. What is the real reason you want to be in that room?
Is it because your work directly affects what is being decided?
Is it because you have expertise that will prevent blind spots?
Is it because you are responsible for outcomes but not present for the conversa...
Feeling Dismissed by Peers or Leadership? (How to Be Heard)
Have you ever walked into a meeting prepared, thoughtful, ready to contribute ... and then left feeling dismissed?
It is incredibly frustrating.
And, I want you to hear this clearly:
Your voice matters. It matters more now than ever.
And you deserve to be heard, valued, and respected in the rooms you are in.
The good news is this does not have to keep happening. There is a proven process to reduce those moments and increase your influence without needing to become louder, sharper, or someone you are not.
Here are two strategies you can start using immediately.
1)Â Get Clear on Your Message ... and the Meaning Behind It
Before we talk tactics, let's talk about mindset. Not in a vague motivational way ... in a practical, performance based way.
I want to share a simple parable that makes this point.
There are three people laying bricks.
Someone walks up to the first and asks, “What are you doing?”
She says, “I’m laying bricks.”
They ask the second person the same question.
She says...
With Deep Gratitude (and a Few Celebrations to Share)
My young memories of the holidays were a little tricky and not always as joyous as I imagined they were for everyone else.Â
If that’s you during this holiday season, I’m sending big hugs and deep gratitude for being a part of the Fearless Female Leadership family.Â
If you’re relaxing and enjoying family and friends, I’m also sending the same to you, and I truly believe that time is the absolute best gift of all!
Without you, there would be no Fearless Female Leadership community. As we approach 10 years of this work (speaking from stages, coaching incredible female executives and their teams, and now leading peer advisory masterminds) I’m in awe of the compounded impact that you all have had!
Thank you for showing up.
Thank you for speaking up.
Thank you for leading with courage, heart, and impact… often in rooms that ask more of you than they should.
I also want to share a few milestones I’m celebrating with The Zone Lab. We’ve formed new partnerships with Women in Securitizati...
Struggling With a Peer Causing You to Lose Influence with Leadership?
Have you ever felt like a peer was quietly (or not so quietly) blocking your influence with leadership?
If so, you’re definitely not alone. And when it happens, it’s not just frustrating… it’s costly. Costly to your confidence, your credibility, your career momentum, and the business itself.
What makes it even harder is that this behavior is often driven by fear-based leadership or narcissistic tendencies. When someone feels threatened, they may try to limit your visibility, exclude you from conversations, or position themselves as the gatekeeper to leadership.
It is not a reflection of your capability or value.
Why This Matters So Much
When a peer blocks your access to leadership:
- Your ideas don’t get heard
- Your impact gets diluted
- Key relationships don’t form
- The organization loses out on your expertise
The good news is there’s a proven process to address it.
Imagine for a moment if that same peer became someone who supported your ideas, amplified your voice, and saw your presence...
Struggling to Influence Difficult Colleagues (or Family Members)?
I don’t know if you’ve noticed this too, but during the holidays (or anytime stress runs unusually high) some people can become more difficult than usual. Emotions get bigger. Patience gets thinner. Small frustrations can escalate quickly.
And whether the tension comes from a colleague, a leader, or even a family member you love dearly… it can feel incredibly draining.
If you’re feeling like you’re losing energy or losing ground influencing those who are important for your year to end strong, here's a few simple, proven ways to prevent these moments from spiraling... and, in many cases, to de-escalate them before they even begin.
Step 1: Acknowledge and Validate (Without Agreeing)
When someone is frustrated or reactive, the fastest way to lower defensiveness is to name what you see and express understanding.
This does not mean you agree with their perspective.
You might say:
- “It seems like you're upset about missing our numbers. I understand why that would feel stressful.”
- “It sounds lik...
Struggling to Prepare Enough for Important Meetings?
If you’ve ever walked out of a meeting thinking, “That was a lost opportunity… I could’ve been more prepared,” please know you are not alone. It happens to even the most capable, high-performing leaders. And yet, those small windows of time (whether it’s a 15-minute 1:1 or a brief hallway conversation with a senior leader) are often the moments that matter most.
They’re the moments that shape your influence, your visibility, and the confidence others have in your leadership.
I’ve been there myself. It’s frustrating, and it can sting. But I want to make sure it doesn’t continue happening to you.Â
There is a proven way to walk into these interactions feeling grounded, clear, and ready. Both you and the person you’re meeting with can walk away feeling energized, aligned, and confident.
And it starts before you ever say a word.
Start by Putting on Their Goggles
When we prepare for an important meeting (especially one with an executive) we often feel pressure to talk fast, showcase ou...
🙏 So Grateful for YOU!
I am deeply and genuinely grateful for you. Without you, there would be no Fearless Female Leader community, no cohorts showing up with courage, no 1:1 clients pushing boundaries in boardrooms and beyond, and no powerful voices rising on stages and in conversations that matter. You’ve made an impact this year (in big and small ways) and I want you to know how much I see you, appreciate you, and cheer you on.
This year hasn’t been easy. There have been challenges, change, and moments that asked for more courage than comfort. And still, you showed up. You spoke up. You shook up old patterns and stepped into rooms and roles that stretched you. If you felt imposter syndrome along the way, remember this: feeling this is a sign of bravery and courage! It means you raised your hand for something meaningful… something that required growth. That takes grit, heart, and leadership of the highest kind.
I hope you’ll pause to feel grateful not just for family, friends, food, and warmth… but also fo...
How Leaders Can Mitigate AI Bias for Women - an Interview with Sarah Lloyd Favaro, Senior Solutions Director, Office of Responsible AI and Governance at HCLTech
In the latest Fearless Female Leadership interview, I had the honor of talking with Sarah Lloyd Favaro, Senior Solutions Director, Office of Responsible AI and Governance at HCLTech, about one of the most urgent and misunderstood leadership topics today: how leaders can mitigate AI bias for women.
Sarah’s career has always lived at the intersection of technology and learning. Long before generative AI swept into the mainstream, she was exploring how tech could enhance human capability (not replace it.) But with the rapid rise of AI tools, Sarah doubled down on understanding how these systems work, why bias appears, and how leaders can prepare their organizations for a future where AI is woven into every workflow.
What makes Sarah’s perspective so powerful is her blended expertise: she understands both the practical magic of AI and the very real risks. She believes strongly that if organizations benefit from AI’s productivity and innovation, they must also ensure equitable, responsibl...
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