Have you ever wondered what it’s like to negotiate when lives are on the line, in deadly hostage stand-offs, with ISIS, or with an armed man with sniper weapons on the National Mall in Washington DC? Sounds terrifying, highly emotional, and exhausting, right?
Grant it that negotiations with your leadership and/or board may not be life or death, but they can be no less exhausting or frustrating when you’re not heard, valued, and respected for your ideas and initiatives.
I’ll be joining FBI and NYPD International Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss again (the first training was in October 2022 in NYC), so I can help you stand in your power even more for yourself, your company, and those leaders coming after you.
As we know all too well when women are not heard or don’t have a big enough voice at the table, it’s costly.
Consider that productivity has taken its biggest dip since 1947, and it’s costing U.S. companies north of 600 billion dollars a year, according to a very recent article in Forbes Magazine.
What does this have to do with influence? A lot!
The 2022 McKenzie Report ("Women in the Workplace Study") stated that female executives are the ones pushing through equity and inclusivity efforts as well as programs and coaching to support their workforce’s well-being.
When our leaders and emerging leaders, especially those who are further marginalized within our gender, do not have to manage the stress and emotional/physical overwhelm that comes along with an unjust and/or unsustainable work environment, they are better equipped to be productive and innovative.
Procrastination in our teams is not due to ‘laziness’, it’s a (costly) protectionary mechanism for stress and overwhelm.
This movement, to be productive and profitable in disruptive times while having a culture that is just and sustainable is one that will either be taken head-on by leadership, or there will be a price to pay in Q3/Q4 when it’s too late.
This shift is going to happen from the top down, and your voice needs to be heard now more than ever.
Here are three key takeaways from Voss’s work that can help you to have a bigger voice at the table:
Use “mirroring” to build rapport and establish trust:
Mirroring is a technique in which you repeat back what the other person has said, using their own words. This can help you to build rapport and establish trust with the other person, as it shows that you are actively listening and trying to understand their perspective. For example, if your boss says ’The answer is ‘no’. There is no budget.’ You might say, ‘No?’ ‘No budget?’ Keep in mind that your tone here is very important, so please be sure to listen to the video for those subtleties.
Practice active listening:
Active listening is a key component of effective communication, as it allows you to fully understand the other person’s point of view. Ask open-ended questions and to truly listen to the responses, rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak. For example ‘What about this request doesn’t make sense?’
Use “labeling” to defuse emotional situations:
Labeling involves acknowledging and naming the other person’s emotions, which can help to defuse tension and create a more collaborative atmosphere. For example, if a board member is expressing frustration, your client might say something like, “It sounds like you’re feeling really frustrated with the current situation. Can you tell me more about what’s going on?” Remember this is all about information gathering, and your counterpart’s response is valuable, even if you mislabel!
Watch my video (above) to learn more about these 3 strategies:
...or listen to the Podcast here:
If I can help you, your team, or your organization in any way, simply schedule a time to chat with me 1:1 here!
Happy International Women’s Day (3.8.23) and Women’s History Month throughout March. Cheering you on always,
Do you feel like everything is catching up with you?
Overwhelmed by your current schedule and possibly underwhelmed by the progress you’re making on initiatives that matter to you?
It’s definitely that time of year, and you are not alone. The good news is that you can have a "mini intervention" with yourself, your schedule, and the impact you’re having, so you can feel less overwhelmed and more in control and on purpose. You’ll likely be more fun to be around too:)
This "Get to Know Yourself" questionnaire will help you next-level your understanding of who you are and what’s important to you. You’ll be looking from a perspective that may be unfamiliar, but this can be a catalyst to ignite momentum and inspire consistent action.
Emailed directly to you each week ... and all FREE!