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Mental Preparation for Influencing Under Pressure (The “ECO” Mindset)

curiosity empathy influence optimism pressure Oct 29, 2025

If you’ve ever walked into a high-stakes conversation with a great plan yet felt your words landed flat, you’re not alone. What we think and feel beforehand shapes what others hear (through our tone, body language, and presence.) That’s why mental preparation isn’t a “nice to have”... it’s a performance edge.

Over the last decade, my work with senior female leaders has shown a consistent pattern: those who prepare their mindset before they prepare their message influence more effectively… especially under pressure.

I’d like to share a simple, research-informed framework you can use right away.

The 3 Critical Steps (That We Often Skip)

When influence matters, there are three core steps:

Gain clarity on your message
Build internal confidence for your message
Execute an influence framework with the right mental and tactical preparation
Most people skip that third step, and it can be devastating to outcomes with peers, leadership, and customers.

The “ECO” Mindset Model can help you with your world-class preparation to influence.

Before you speak, prepare your mind with ECO:

“E”mpathy
“C”uriosity
“O”ptimism

Think of this as pre-work that sets your influence up to land as intended.

Empathy (Lead with Their World)

Don’t just imagine the other person’s perspective… step into it. If you were in his or her seat (e.g., your CEO, board, manager), what pressures are they under? What’s most important this quarter? What language do they respond to? Empathy means putting on their “goggles” for a 360° view of their reality.

Prompt: “If I am him or her today, what are my top priorities, constraints, and what am I afraid of losing?”

Curiosity (Ask to Understand… Not to Win)

Curiosity (wrapped in compassion) helps you surface what’s unsaid: pressure, risk, desired outcomes. It’s especially vital when you disagree, feel misunderstood, or sense stubbornness across the table. When people feel seen and heard, trust rises and resistance falls.

Optimism (Future-cast a Joint Win)

Humans are wired to catastrophize… especially after past setbacks. Instead, ask: “How do I want this to turn out?” Visualize the specific, shared success you’re after and the path to get there. Vision drives decision; your internal outlook will leak into your words, tone, and gestures.

Quick reminder: words carry only part of what others perceive; your non-verbals and energy do a lot of the talking. Mental prep ensures your message lands the way you intend.

Bring ECO to Life

Choosing who you most need to influence right now (and aligning ECO to that relationship) builds both internal confidence and external buy-in. Influence isn’t about convincing people to do what they don’t want; it’s about earning trust and making it safe for others to see your point of view.

Watch & Download

For a more in-depth perspective, watch my video on mental preparation for influencing under pressure. It walks through ECO in action and why this mindset matters when the stakes are high.

And to make this practical, download the “ECO” Mindset Model worksheet… a one-page guide with prompts you can use before any high-stakes interaction.

Reflection Question

Before your next big conversation, which part of ECO do you need most (Empathy, Curiosity, or Optimism) and what’s one sentence you’ll use to put it into practice? Share your perspective and experiences.

If you’re a leader looking to gain clarity on ‘what’s next’ ... or learn how to lead with greater confidence and influence, let’s have a confidential conversation.